Friday, 13 February 2009

Zombie Survival Guide For Muppets

So, after having a fun laugh (again) at Left 4 Speed I felt that it was time to reacquaint myself with the mighty Left 4 Dead, and seeing as my lovely girlfriend gave me an early valentines day gift in the form of 13 months of Xbox Live Gold, I thought we would have some fun with the online multiplayer. And oh dear, it seems things have gotten bad... Really bad. The majority of people appear to have forgotten how to play Left 4 Dead, so here's my top 5 Left 4 Dead tips for the intellectually challenged.

1. The game is a co-operative multiplayer, if your team mates go down, once the undead ease off you need to pick them up. You wont last long on your own, as a handful of people I played with this afternoon didn't learn.

2. I'm happy to heal you, that too is a part of the co-operative bit of the game. But please, for the love of all that is decent, when I'm in the red on health and you have a full bar plus a med pack, do the math and repay the favour. It makes sense to do the same for your other team mates.

3. That big flashing sign on the screen that indicates that a Smoker or a Hunter have me or another team mate pinned is too difficult for most to ignore, and for that I'm grateful. But please pay attention to the fact that some zombies may have myself or others in the team trapped, and help would be equally appreciated.

4. Please sort out the Boomer in either the traditional melee then shoot method, or get him from a distance. We don't need Boomer vomit attracting more attention from the horde than we already have.

5. I'll say this last one slowly for you: Leave. The. Witch. Alone.

This isn't all of the online community I know, but for those repeat offenders, you know who you are. Looking forward to killing some more brain munching scum with those who know the score.

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